Recipe: Obscene Chocolate Cookies


One evening last week, on the train home from work, I got a craving. A sudden, crippling, desperate craving. For fat, chunky, soft, chewy, really chocolatey cookies. Like, toothache-inducing bastards. So I popped into the shop when I got off the train, bought an awful lot of chocolate, came home and got to work on these bad boys. I was mega pleased with how they turned out. My cousin, who guinea-pigged them for me, helpfully volunteered that they should be called ‘Fucking Ridic Chocolate Cookies’, so, whichever title you prefer.

You will need…
(Makes 18 beastly-sized cookies)

225g dark chocolate (aim for at least 65% cocoa solids)
55g unsalted butter
85g plain flour
1/2 tsp baking powder
Pinch of salt
2 large free range eggs
250g light brown sugar
1tsp vanilla
100g dark chocolate chips
100g milk chocolate chips
100g white chocolate chips

Start by breaking the dark chocolate into squares then giving it a rough chop. This will just help it to melt more quickly. Chuck it in a bowl with the butter, and microwave in 30 second bursts, stirring in between, until just melted. You want it thick and glossy, not runny.

In a bowl, mix the flour, baking powder and salt and set aside. In the bowl of your stand mixer, add the sugar, eggs and vanilla, then start beating that shit on high for a few minutes until smooth, pale and fluffy. Turn the speed down lower, and spoon in the buttery chocolate mixture. Once that’s incorporated, start tipping in the dry ingredients a little at a time until it’s all mixed in well. Be sure to scrape down the sides of the bowl with a spatula. As soon as everything is incorporated, stop. You don’t want to overmix it.

Now, add all those chocolate chips (there really is a lot of chocolate in this, huh?) and mix them in by hand. You’ll notice this is a super wet mixture, so it needs to be chilled right down. Cover the bowl with cling film and either refrigerate for a few hours if you’ve got the time, or if you’re impatient like me, stick it in the freezer for 30 minutes to an hour.

A quick chill thickens it right up, see? Preheat the oven to 180C (160 for fan ovens) and line a couple of baking trays with greaseproof/baking paper. Scoop about a heaped tablespoon of mixture out of the bowl for each cookie, and drop them on the sheets with a generous amount of space in between to allow them to spread.

Bake the cookies for 12-15 minutes, swapping the trays round on the shelves at equal intervals if the heat distribution in your oven varies a bit.

Once they’re out of the oven, try to give them at least a couple of minutes to cool before you bite into one, lest you burn your mouth on all that sweet molten chocolate. Mmm. They’ll last a few days in an airtight container, but good luck keeping them around for that long.

They’re called Obscene Chocolate Cookies because when you eat one, you’ll either make an involuntary sex noise or a string of swear words. You’re welcome.

One thought on “Recipe: Obscene Chocolate Cookies

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>