Anyone else sick of getting these emails CONSTANTLY?

Hi Leanne,

My name is Faceless Social Media Shitmuncher and I work for Some Crappy Agency. I just came across your blog recently and I love it! Especially the post on Pasted Title of Your Most Recent Post.

My client, Irrelevant™, have this entirely unrelated voucher code/infographic/various pointless excuse for ‘content’ that we think your readers would really like and it would be really great if you could post it on your blog.

Look forward to hearing from you,
Faceless Social Media Shitmuncher

******************************

Hi Leanne,

I am Not My Real Name, a blogger writing on behalf of Various Defunct Sites. First off, I would like to say I really enjoy reading your posts (even though I’m guaranteed not to have actually read any).

Anyway, I have an amazing content opportunity for you. I can provide you with a generic piece of writing, with just a few words changed from a previous publication so I can say it’s unique. I have some ideas for topics, including the following:

1) Nothing of Any Interest to You and Your Readers
2) How Abstaining From the Use of Toilet Paper Can Stop Global Warming
3) Other Miscellaneous Bollocks

This will help to increase my writing portfolio and provides some great exposure for you, too (it doesn’t really but I’m pretending it does and I obviously think you’re stupid enough not to question it). I would require a link back to Some Dodgy Site.

Let me know if you’re interested,
Not My Real Name

******************************

Hi donotrefreeze.com,

We at Crap SEO Agency love your blog, but noticed that it could be performing much better in google search rankings. We are confident that we can improve your SEO profile within An Indeterminate Number of Months with our Completely Not Unique Strategy. We would seek a payment of An Extortionate Amount of Money for this service.

I look forward to working with you,

SEO Agency Monkey

******************************

Hi Leanne,

I sent you an email last week about Something Fucking Pointless and just wondered if you’d had a chance to think about it. Let me know!

Best,
Some Wanker Trying To Get Something Out Of You For Nothing

******************************

Hi Leanne,

If you could reply to my email sometime soon, that would be great.

Best,
Wanker

******************************

Hi Leanne,

Y U NO REPLY TO MY EMAIL? I WILL KEEP HASSLING YOU.

Best,
Time Waster

  • Laura Stewart

    Ohmygod yes! I replied to one saying “no thank you” as I usually do and they had the nerve to reply back, “Too bad you’re missing out on more followers and a great engagement opportunity”

    That was one straw to far – I replied back saying, “Good thing I rely on my writing and experiences, not blatent advertisements.”

    Such idiots.

    • http://www.ceejayell.blogspot.co.uk Carly Jade

      I got a reply back similar to that too! Apparently Yahoo and Lloyds TSB users had loved whatever infographic they were trying to give me!

      Completely agree with you! And my blog isn’t even that big, so can’t imagine how many pointless e-mails you must get!

      http://www.ceejayell.blogspot.co.uk

      • Laura Stewart

        Haha I’m not big either – so I always wonder why they even bother :)

        • http://donotrefreeze.com/ Do Not Refreeze

          Size schmize. I’m not ‘big’ by today’s standards either, but size is irrelevant – it’s better to have 10 readers who are actually interested in what you have to say than 10,000 readers who are only following you because everyone else is. :-)

  • http://www.sailorjennie.com Jennie May

    hahahah!! Yes! I’m also not a fan of the snarky follow up emails. No time for that! x

  • daisy walters

    ARGGHHH YES!!!!! Sooo done with these emails. I don’t even give them the time to reply!

  • http://www.singlemotherahoy.com Single Mother Ahoy!

    Ha you are so right! Another one I got this week was “hi, some of my friends and family have brought to my attention that my emails have not been getting through so I don’t know if you got the pointless tosh I sent you last week…”

    • http://donotrefreeze.com/ Do Not Refreeze

      Ohh, that old chestnut, hey? Hilarious!

  • http://www.shemightbeloved.com Georgina Grogan

    hahahaha loved this! I’m getting beyond annoyed with all of this! I just delete them straight away, or if I feel like it I’ll reply with my rates!

  • http://www.littlemisskaty.co.uk Little Miss Katy

    Pahahahaha! This is ACE!!! xx

    Little Miss Katy | UK Lifestyle & Fashion

  • BBFF

    Yup, they gonna hassle us all for a longtime. I have replied to a couple of these guys in the past, and suggested that if they would like to supplied with my hourly rate, then I would be happy to send the details of this to them. Something for nothing is their mantra. x

  • xXxStundonxXx

    hahahahahaah this has literaly just made my day! x

    Leanne – A Slice of My Life

  • http://blog.makeupfordolls.com/ Makeup For Dolls

    I creased over laughing at these. Also very tired of them. Although I think I know I’ve “landed” in the blogosphere now that I’m receiving them. And multiple offers to rewrite my blog (because it’s completely shit, obviously), improve my SEO (which, granted, is shit), and generally improve world peace. Lovely.

  • LilyLipstick

    Love this! x

  • http://www.theskinandbeautyblog.com Livia @ TheSkinandBeautyBlog

    Hahaha this post made me giggle. I’ve seen tons of these! x

  • http://www.bethht.blogspot.co.uk/ Beth

    Hahaha! I’ve had a few of these and they’re so annoying xx

  • Kimberley-Anne

    Hahaha this tickled me – certainly don’t miss that! xx

  • Gem

    Love, love, love this! =D

    Gem x | flutter and sparkle

  • Emma Groves

    All the bloody time drives me mad xx

  • Samantha Marriott

    ahahha!

  • Saša Rakovec

    Haha :D I got so used to ignoring them, that probably If I would ever got any real deal I would just deleted it by mistake :D
    xx

    SASHA

  • http://www.justmeleah.co.uk www.justmeleah.co.uk

    This has given me the biggest laugh of the day, and God knows I needed it. I’m small fry in the grand scheme of things but I’ve nodded my head to all of these. x x

  • http://wewereraisedbywolves.blogspot.co.uk/ Evelyn

    Sitting here crying with laughter – thank you writing this! :D x SO DAMN TRUE!

    Evelyn @ We Were Raised By Wolves

  • Robin

    You should be grateful anyone takes the time to send you anything, you meanie. Incidentally, I have an article on heels and beads I think would be PERFECT for your blog. Interested?