Anyone else sick of getting these emails CONSTANTLY?

Hi Leanne,

My name is Faceless Social Media Shitmuncher and I work for Some Crappy Agency. I just came across your blog recently and I love it! Especially the post on Pasted Title of Your Most Recent Post.

My client, Irrelevant™, have this entirely unrelated voucher code/infographic/various pointless excuse for ‘content’ that we think your readers would really like and it would be really great if you could post it on your blog.

Look forward to hearing from you,
Faceless Social Media Shitmuncher


Hi Leanne,

I am Not My Real Name, a blogger writing on behalf of Various Defunct Sites. First off, I would like to say I really enjoy reading your posts (even though I’m guaranteed not to have actually read any).

Anyway, I have an amazing content opportunity for you. I can provide you with a generic piece of writing, with just a few words changed from a previous publication so I can say it’s unique. I have some ideas for topics, including the following:

1) Nothing of Any Interest to You and Your Readers
2) How Abstaining From the Use of Toilet Paper Can Stop Global Warming
3) Other Miscellaneous Bollocks

This will help to increase my writing portfolio and provides some great exposure for you, too (it doesn’t really but I’m pretending it does and I obviously think you’re stupid enough not to question it). I would require a link back to Some Dodgy Site.

Let me know if you’re interested,
Not My Real Name



We at Crap SEO Agency love your blog, but noticed that it could be performing much better in google search rankings. We are confident that we can improve your SEO profile within An Indeterminate Number of Months with our Completely Not Unique Strategy. We would seek a payment of An Extortionate Amount of Money for this service.

I look forward to working with you,

SEO Agency Monkey


Hi Leanne,

I sent you an email last week about Something Fucking Pointless and just wondered if you’d had a chance to think about it. Let me know!

Some Wanker Trying To Get Something Out Of You For Nothing


Hi Leanne,

If you could reply to my email sometime soon, that would be great.



Hi Leanne,


Time Waster

24 thoughts on “Anyone else sick of getting these emails CONSTANTLY?

  1. Ohmygod yes! I replied to one saying “no thank you” as I usually do and they had the nerve to reply back, “Too bad you’re missing out on more followers and a great engagement opportunity”

    That was one straw to far – I replied back saying, “Good thing I rely on my writing and experiences, not blatent advertisements.”

    Such idiots.

        1. Size schmize. I’m not ‘big’ by today’s standards either, but size is irrelevant – it’s better to have 10 readers who are actually interested in what you have to say than 10,000 readers who are only following you because everyone else is. :-)

  2. Ha you are so right! Another one I got this week was “hi, some of my friends and family have brought to my attention that my emails have not been getting through so I don’t know if you got the pointless tosh I sent you last week…”

  3. Yup, they gonna hassle us all for a longtime. I have replied to a couple of these guys in the past, and suggested that if they would like to supplied with my hourly rate, then I would be happy to send the details of this to them. Something for nothing is their mantra. x

  4. I creased over laughing at these. Also very tired of them. Although I think I know I’ve “landed” in the blogosphere now that I’m receiving them. And multiple offers to rewrite my blog (because it’s completely shit, obviously), improve my SEO (which, granted, is shit), and generally improve world peace. Lovely.

  5. Haha :D I got so used to ignoring them, that probably If I would ever got any real deal I would just deleted it by mistake :D


  6. You should be grateful anyone takes the time to send you anything, you meanie. Incidentally, I have an article on heels and beads I think would be PERFECT for your blog. Interested?

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