Dear Batiste…

I freaking hate your Gold Shimmer dry shampoo. Love, Leanne.

The original Batistes (my personal favourite is Tropical, which has a super summery coconut scent) are lifesavers. I love those. I never got round to trying out the Brunette version when they brought out coloured ones for darker hair to combat the grey tinge we often suffer when using Batiste, so I can’t comment on those, but I can definitely comment on this monstrosity.

There are two of these – Gold Shimmer and Silver Shimmer (£3.05 for 150ml). I was given Gold at the National Beauty Blogging Event at the end of February, and oh my word I have never been so annoyed with a product in my life!

The description on the back of the can reads ‘Batiste Dry Shampoo with Gold Shimmer revitalises greasy, dull and lifeless hair between washes. Instantly leaves your hair feeling clean, full of body and smelling beautiful with a hint of glamourous pearl shimmer. Quick and convenient to use wherever you are’. Subtle hint?! Convenient?! What a load of bull.

I was a little worried that there wouldn’t be a ‘subtle hint’ of shimmer in it so I decided to try it on a day that I wasn’t going anywhere just in case it was awful. And my god, WAS it awful! I used it very sparingly out of fear – very justified fear, it turns out. It was like a fucking glitterbomb had exploded in my hair. That’s not the worst part, though.

I have a pretty big bedroom, and my full length mirror is on the opposite end of the room to my computer. Despite this, my desk and computer (and literally almost everything else in the room) is now COVERED in tenacious gold glitter that I can’t get rid of for love nor money. How they can say this is ‘convenient to use wherever you are’ is beyond me – I guess they define convenient as GETTING FUCKING GLITTER OVER EVERYTHING WITHIN 10 FEET.

I was so incensed by this sparkling disaster that I wanted to write this blog post immediately. I was SO angry that I was close to tears, but it was shark week so I thought I was just being overly hormonal about it. But nope, over a week later and my room and carpet (despite three dusting and hoovering attempts) is still shimmering like a fairy spontaneously combusted in here. I’m furious.

Seriously, don’t buy this. Please.

30 thoughts on “Dear Batiste…

  1. Ummm, my first reaction to your rant was OOOH SPARKLY WANT because I am a glitter-holic. Would it really be so unbearable for my bathroom to be covered in gold dust? Upon further consideration, it’s possible that I would eventually become outraged by the persistent glitter.

    I’ve only seen the original pink bottle Batiste here in the U.S. and possibly the Tropical. I’ve definitely never seen the Brunette, Gold Shimmer, or Silver Shimmer.

  2. That is my idea of hell – I cannot understand why anyone over the age of 5 would want glittery hair!

    It kind of reminds me of a Demitri Martin quote: “Glitter is the herpes of arts and crafts; you can’t get rid of it no matter how hard you try!”

  3. OMG! sounds terrible! I have this too and use it sometimes for night outs or so and it works okay. I’m not a fan either. My favourite is Batiste Brit – you have to try!

  4. I don’t get why they would put glitter with this. If your hair is looking greasy no matter how good the dry shampoo you don’t usually want to draw attention to your hair! Sucks you have glitter everywhere!
    Stacie xoxox

  5. Hahaha, oh God. I have to agree with you! My friend packed this for Leeds festival and sprayed it directly in my face from about 1″ away…It was there to stay. I was still finding glitter on me five days later!

  6. do you know what, i had exactly the same problem -
    it went EVERYWHERE in my room, all over my camera equipment (annoying) and whats worse my dad had sparkles on his face the following day!
    gahhhhhhh.
    Rosie xoxo

  7. Hehe, this made me laugh :) I completely understand your cautiousness to begin with…glitter on hair? Um, school disco aged 9?

    Don’t think i would’ve bought this anyway but glad you’ve tried it so i don’t get any weird temptations when i next sotck up on the regular Batiste (i go for Diva). Also dubious about these coloured ones…if it ain’t broke and all that.

    Have a lovely weekend xxx

  8. Oh wow, definitely want to avoid this unless it’s in someone else’s house or outside! :P I remember my mum used to make me apply hair glitter spray in the garden when I used to go to school discos! :)

  9. This stuff is genuinely awful! I picked it up instead of the normal one by accident! The only thing this was good for was Halloween when we made my friend look like an old lady (albeit a very glittery one). xx

  10. i dont want you to think im being insensetive but that did make me laugh haha – only because i can imagine myself in that very situation!! id be so pissed off and throw a right strop! i agree with you on the tropical batiste though – staple product, its great for volume on my flat pancake hair! cheer up hun, itll go away eventually! xxx

  11. Omg this happened to me too!!!!!! It goes everywhere. And who would want to draw attention to their hair when they’re trying to do the exact opposite anyway? I’m definitely sticking to the Brunette Tones version! xxx

  12. haha, I don’t like anything glittery or sparkly on my body/hair anywaym so will keep away from this! I think dry shampoo should do what it says on the can, if you wanted a dico in your hair, you’d buy something to do that! xx

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